Why Family Disputes Happen – and How Good Planning Can Prevent Them
In this month’s blog, Gabrielle McManus talks about the heartache of family disputes when will planning goes wrong - and offers practical ways to prevent it.
A few years ago, we acted for a woman who was the executor of her mother’s estate. Her mother had left her 70 percent of the estate, with the remaining 30 percent divided between her two other children.
At the time of her mother’s death, the daughter shared a close relationship with both sisters. But once they became aware of the contents of the will, disappointment quickly turned into resentment.
In the end, the daughter lost both her mother and her connection with her sisters, despite having played no part in her mother’s decision to award her more. The will itself was clear, but the reasons behind it were up for interpretation.
As lawyers, we often see that conflict arises not necessarily from what’s written in a will, but from what’s left unsaid.
Early conversations and careful estate planning can help prevent misunderstandings, protect relationships, and ensure your final wishes are carried out with clarity and respect.
Why Family Conflict Happens
Family conflict can arise for many reasons. Even those raised under the same roof develop different values, shaped by personality, experience, and worldview. We each see the world through our own lens, interpret events in our own way, and draw our own conclusions.
Sometimes our stories start to diverge on this journey. Other times, it’s not so much a clash of internal narratives, but more a matter of poor communication or misunderstanding.
While conflict and disagreement are a normal part of family life, some disputes run deeper and are harder to resolve without professional help.
Common causes of serious family conflict include:
Complex family dynamics – second marriages, blended families, competing obligations and differing expectations.
Grief and stress – which can magnify long-standing issues.
Perceptions of fairness, recognition or control – it’s often not just about money.
Breakdowns in communication – especially during times of change or loss.
When these risks aren’t identified and managed early, they can lead to stressful and often costly legal disputes.
Feeling unsure whether your current plan addresses these risk factors? Let’s talk through them and make sure small issues don’t become big problems.
Recognising the Warning Signs Early
Family conflict often stems from one or more of four key risk areas:
Family structure risks – such as blended families, estranged relatives, significant age gaps between partners or children, or dependants with special needs.
Power and financial imbalances – where one person has greater control over assets, or where loans or financial support are given unequally or without documentation.
Emotional and relationship risks – including a history of conflict, competing narratives (for example, “Dad promised me the house”), guilt or resentment influencing the will-maker’s decisions, or poor communication between spouses and children.
Capacity and influence risks – such as cognitive decline, an overbearing or persuasive family member, or sudden changes in the will-maker’s long-standing lawyer or estate plan.
With decades of experience helping families navigate complex dynamics, we’ve learnt to identify these warning signs early and put plans in place that reduce the likelihood of tension or dispute.
What You Should Do Now
If any of these risks sound familiar, there are simple steps you can take to protect your family relationships and your estate.
Review your current will and estate documents regularly.
Check your powers of attorney reflect your current circumstances.
Talk to your loved ones about your estate planning decisions and the reasons behind them.
Seek early legal advice before relationships are strained or misunderstandings occur.
Document everything carefully with legal support— clarity today prevents confusion tomorrow.
Not sure where to start? We can review your will, powers of attorney, and estate plan to make sure they reflect your wishes and protect those you care about most. Book a consultation online.
When Conflict Has Already Started
If conflict is already well-entrenched, our focus shifts to minimising further harm for your loved ones. This can include:
Providing clear advice about the risks to your estate.
Offering proactive strategies to reduce the likelihood of your will being challenged.
Including protective clauses in your documents to maintain control or introduce appropriate checks and balances.
Helping you restructure your assets to make your estate less vulnerable to potential claims.
Even if conflict has already begun, it’s never too late to get guidance. Getting advice now can prevent things from escalating further.
The Right Advice
Family conflict can feel overwhelming, especially when legal and emotional issues are intertwined.
With the right guidance and a clear plan, it’s possible to move forward with less stress and greater understanding.
The best way to prevent conflict later is to plan thoughtfully now.
If you’d like support in creating an estate plan that protects your wishes and helps your family avoid unnecessary tension, our team is here to guide you every step of the way.